


The Light Behind Your Eyes

by sleepysweaterlou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Accident, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, angsty, blind!louis, i guess, insecure!louis, worried!louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 21:59:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1704053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepysweaterlou/pseuds/sleepysweaterlou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>2.7k of blind!louis</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Light Behind Your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by an anon's request
> 
> Proofread by my wonderful secret beta.
> 
> For the anon who had the wonderful idea. I would have been able to write a lot more (was thinking about a whole story (which i might write one day)), if I hadn't decided to keep it rather short.
> 
> I hope you like it! (might add a part two with smut because i think that'd be quite interesting with Louis being blind. what do you think?)
> 
> xx

Everyone is aware of the risks that come with driving a car. Everyone does it anyway. Accidents happen, no one thinks they'll ever be involved in one. Some are careful, some are confident about their driving skills but some are careless, driving drunk. Some of them are lucky, some are not. And some people are careful, confident and end up in an accident anyway.  
Unfair, some might say. That's how life is, isn't it? 

Things happen, people change. People live and people die. One way or another. There's nothing you can do about it. One might think it's careless to think that way, rude even. And for some it's the only way to cope. 

The fact that there's a decrease in car crashes in England and Wales over the past years, doesn't mean no one is getting hurt. It doesn't mean that you're 100% safe when going by car to visit your family or return back to your boyfriend, who hasn't been with you because there's things he needs to do too, even though you both would love to spend every second of your lives together.  
And you miss him, so you drive and sing to the music on the radio while your eyes are focused on the road to get home safely. 

It's dark and you wish you were at home already, but there's still a long way ahead so you settle in your seat and drive.

But what you don't expect, is a car speeding towards you, the lights so bright they hurt your eyes. You try your best to just get out of the way, you jerk the wheel violently and you have no idea what's happening because everything is so fast and bright until you feel pain and you black out. And if you've got time for a last thought, it's maybe about your boyfriend who you wish would be there to hold you when you wake up from this horrible nightmare.

 

Louis Tomlinson had never thought something like this would happen to him. 

 

Not when he had signed himself up for driving lessons, not when he first drove a car, not when he got his license, not when he first drove alone or took others with him. Not when he had been in his car listening to the radio while driving and heard about an accident on the radio. Not when he kissed his boyfriend goodbye and was told to take care and not when his mum told him to get back home safely and he said bye to his family back in Doncaster. No one would have suspected it, honestly. People usually try not to focus on the risks of being alive and driving a car or riding a bike or going by a bus or even just walking across the street. But what people expect the least is a celebrity getting hit by a car because of a drunk driver. Or maybe they just hope they are never going to read the news and find out about their idol's accident or – worse – death. 

The thing is, nobody can do anything about it, you can't stop the things from happening, so people talk. 

The press is always hot for news, especially news on celebrities. So it's no surprise that the news and the internet are flooded with the words “Louis Tomlinson” and “accident”. The fans are shocked mostly, because who could have ever expected this to happen. Most are sweet about it though, send Louis and his family and the lads love and hope he'll be okay soon. Especially the Larry Shippers are exceptionally sweet to Harry on twitter.

That is until One Direction officially takes a break and people find out something even worse than Louis having had an accident.

People talk, it's inevitable.  
They don't know what's actually going on though.

~

When Louis wakes up after the accident, he doesn't even know where he is. The bandage around his head gives him a clue as to why he can't see anything and the sounds around him as well as the way his whole body hurts makes it clear where he is. Not kidnapped, not tied up in a basement of some freak. Luckily.  
He's at a hospital. And with that, the memories are coming back. It's horrible, thinking about how the other car's been speeding towards his own and Louis hasn't been able to do anything about it. He remembers how the lights dazzled him, how it crashed and everything was too fast for him to take in. He remembers the pain and blacking out and wishing that he was at home in Harry's arms. It's a horrible feeling.

The worst part now is that he can't see and everyone seems so worried and everyone thinks he's vulnerable. He is, kind of. But after various talks and visits, one thing turns out to be permanent and final. And that definitely has to be the worst.

"Mr. Tomlinson, you are blind."

Well, thanks, doctor, Louis knows that much himself, he hasn't seen anything for too long now with that damn thing on his head.

But then it hits him. It hits him like the other car hit his car one his way back here, rough and merciless.  
Harry is going to leave him.

Harry is going to leave him and there's nothing he can do about it.  
The worst is not even that he probably ruined everything with this, they're going to throw him out of the band and he'll be left alone in this darkness forever.  
But Harry leaving is too much, he doesn't think he can take that.

"Fucking shit, should have died in that damn crash", he mutters to himself, into a pillow. His voice is still a bit hoarse and unsteady and gosh, he hates how everything and everyone can stare at him while he sees nothing. He's never going to see Harry's eyes again. He's not going to see Harry's dimples again. He's not going to see anything ever again. That thought makes him tear up and he almost doesn't catch the door creaking and someone walking in.

"Go away", Louis mutters into his pillow.

"Never", he hears Harry's deep but soft voice. Louis furrows his eyebrows at that but stays as he is, most of his face buried in a pillow. He doesn't know if Harry knows yet, can't see him, can't see if he's cried or glaring at him. He's helpless. Louis is helpless and he hates it.

Louis hears the rustling of the bedsheets and feels the bed dip a bit. Harry is probably sitting on his bed. Louis can only guess. He feels Harry's big hand on his own then and thinks how weird it is to suddenly not see what he feels.

"Missed you, Lou, how are you doing?", he hears Harry whisper. He doesn't want to know what's next to come but he's positive Harry's here to break up with him. Or maybe he won't because he pities him but Louis doesn't want to hold Harry back, as much as he loves him.

"Harry, fuck, I know you know it already, don't act like that when I know you're going to leave me. You all are.", Louis whispers, hurt. "What a perfect chance for management. Bet they're all sad I survived. Would have made a better story in the news.", he mumbles sarcastically and scoffs.

"God, Lou, no. I'd never leave you. Come here.", Harry says softly, shocked that Louis thinks something like that. Harry lies down and gently makes Louis roll over and cuddle into him, his head resting on Harry's chest.  
Harry's gentle hands are tracing patterns on Louis' back as they keep him close.  
"I love you, Louis.", Harry promises, whispering in the – for Louis' eyes only – dark room.

Louis doesn't quite believe this but he stays in hospital for a few more days until they say he can leave. He let's the others do whatever they want but Harry's here, always here, to cuddle him to sleep, to tell him about small incidents that had happened while he was getting food or anything else, and to make sure he eats, drinks and sleeps. Louis sometimes feels like a huge baby that has to much room to think in their brain but is too dumb to go anywhere without knocking something over.  
He doesn't like this feeling.

Luckily, he gets that stupid bandage around his head off soon and he thinks he should be glad that he isn't able to look into a mirror and see how fucked up he must look.

What really stresses him out is going home though. He hates hospitals, never really liked them, but he's also scared of leaving here. In here, he's safe and away from people taking pictures and looking at him. It's too quiet, sometimes, but when Harry isn't keeping him company, he usually just listens to music or tries not to freak out.

Without Harry though, Louis would have gone crazy. He's always here to hold him and take care of him. Louis sometimes hates it because he is the one supposed to take care of Harry, not the other way round. But Harry's there anyway and Harry doesn't mind to do that. He'd do anything for Louis.

Louis is probably lucky he has friends who'd get him some mp3-player and he's figured out how to listen to music on there by now. It's not that he's dumb, he just can't see shit. He doesn't ask if it's designed for blind people. He doesn't want to be blind. He's still just Louis. He's Louis, always been, always will be. Still, at some point, he'll have to learn those damn letters and get a phone designed for blind people. He's not looking forward to it.

Louis somehow makes it home, being paranoid as he is, he insists that Harry and him go home during the night where it's less likely for people to wait for him and take proper pictures. To Louis, it doesn't matter anyway. There's just darkness for him, no matter if it's day or night. He just doesn't want anyone taking pictures of him.

Of course, people get some photographs anyway. Louis can't see how the pictures show Harry protectively keeping Louis close and shielding him from everyone while Louis tries to hide his face and stay as close as possible to Harry.  
People don't know that they're in a committed relationship. But voices get louder, people debate about whether they're for real or Harry was just being a friend. Louis is not as bothered by that as he is by the articles about him being blind. 

He wouldn't have been able to keep it a secret, it is obvious. Even though he can keep his eyes open, they don't really focus on anything and aren't like they used to be. They seem blank, cold even. It's probably a good thing that Louis can't see them like that.

But it does bother Louis. It all bothers Louis because even though Louis can't read and see anymore, he still hears them talk. He knows they're talking. Apparently the world has nothing better to talk about than Louis Tomlinson going blind. 

He pretends to manage just fine. It's obvious to almost everyone close to him that he doesn't. But Harry stays by his side and is there for Louis without him having to ask for anything. Deep down, Louis knows he couldn't have been any luckier. Harry is everything right now. 

Louis is afraid of the day he'll forget what Harry looks like. He doesn't want to forget those green eyes, chocolate curls and pretty dimples. But he fears, one day he just won't be able to recall it all again.

It's needless to say their sex life pretty much died down ever since the accident though. Louis doesn't want to be so vulnerable. He doesn't want Harry to see when he can't see anything. Harry respects that, he just wishes Louis was more comfortable with him. 

Louis doesn't feel ready for anything. He's not ready for forgetting his soulmate's gorgeous looks. He's not ready for seeing his mum and sisters again. He's not ready for facing anyone ever again. He's not even ready for dying because he's positive he wouldn't even be able to kill himself. Sometimes he wishes he didn't survive. And sometimes he whispers that into the silence when he thinks Harry is asleep already. Turns out, Harry is never asleep apparently. He always pulls Louis closer, whispers a sleepy but firm “love you” to make sure Louis knows and cuddles him until he's fast asleep in Harry's arms, dreaming about seeing colours with his amazing boyfriend by his side.

In the morning, reality comes back. Louis has to face every day problems again, like finding the bathroom, putting on his clothes the right way, not hitting himself on every corner and not spilling all his food and drinks all over himself. It's reasonable that he prefers staying in bed. It's probably only good that their band's on a break now due to the accident and Harry stays with him all day, making him eat and drink and cuddling him until Louis says he wants to be alone. He knows he's not being fair but he doesn't want Harry to see him cry. The thing is, Harry sees. And Louis knows. But he can at least tell himself Harry doesn't see when he isn't holding him.

The worst is television and news. Claiming he doesn't want to miss anything, Louis listens to the TV – since he can't watch it anymore – and lets electronic devices read the news for him. That's not even the problem though. The problem is how everyone talks about him. Louis' accident is all over the news. Everyone worries, everyone wonders. And of course, there are tons of comments over all social networks too. And Louis makes people (mostly Harry) read them out for him, uncensored. He insists that he has the right to know what exactly people are saying. Being the honest and sweet person he always is, Harry can't deny Louis the truth.  
At first, Zayn gives both Louis and Harry shit for it because “who purposefully reads that bullshit anyway?”. But he eventually gives in to Louis, reading him some things too when Harry is out doing grocery shopping or other business. 

To be honest, it hurts Louis. All the comments about him and being blind are hurting him. He's never been one to hate attention on him but this is not the kind of attention he wants. He doesn't want to look vulnerable to the public. He wants to look like he has everything under control. He doesn't want to show his flaws. 

Of course, Harry notices that. He tries to comfort him as best as he can, wrapping Louis up in a blanket and in his arms, kissing him all over and whispering things to him about how he's so strong and how Harry is so glad to have him and how amazing he is. Louis' never been one to just accept being comforted, he was the one with that job. It's always been his job to look after others, it's hard to let it happen the other way round. Harry insists that Louis has comforted him so many times, it's time to switch positions anyway.

“Haz?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you still want to marry me and have kids?”

“Yeah.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because, Lou, what happened doesn't change my feelings for you.”

“But I'm blind.”

“There's still that light behind your eyes.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that there's still that amazing Louis, my first crush and first love and first everything, who my heart still beats fast for, who I want to spend eternity with. And I know that you still want the same. You can't push me away because of what happened, Lou.”

“You're incredibly sappy, you know that?”

“Mhm. Can I kiss you?”

“What kind of question is that, curly?”

“One you're supposed to answer with yes.”

“You're silly.”

“But you love me.”

“I do.”

“Now can I kiss you?”

“Yeah.”

“And can I touch you too?”

“Get on with it, Styles.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is much appreciated xx


End file.
